Yamazaki is L! O! V! E!
by Ducktard
Summary: Haha the title says it all. Just my little attempt at comedic gag starring me boi Sagaru hahaha.


_Credit. I want to own Gintama, but too bad, I was not capable with so much geniusness that Sorachi-sensei happened to attain, so there we go.  
_  
-This was supposed to be my April's Fool story (_that's why the setting is kind of familiar to the April's Fool one, just changed popsicle to lollipop lol_), but I don't know what happened and stopped half-way through LOL. Now rereading it, it's not as horrible as I thought it was. There isn't really a point lolol. I don't even know if this is funny or not, but it fits my sense of humor. I love love love love love Yamazaki. He's the cutest character (_to me_) and his voice fits him perfectly. Gintama has the BEST seiyuu..ever...lmao, omg I love Gintama (_and Geitama_) too much...

* * *

"It's hot." The natural perm head sat under an unfamiliar roof, leaning against a pole as he was eating a strawberry-flavored Popsicle. The warm wind blew slightly, a little refreshing, yet humid and dry, wavering the dark shadows of the trees. Gin glanced around swiftly, licking the popsicle, as if he was searching for something important.

"Oi, what are you doing here?" a grumpy voice rang behind Gin's ears; he could feel the other's breathings more clearly than the current wind, making him to turn around in a rush.

And their faces were closer than they would ever imagined.

Kissed.  
Touched.  
Loved.

And Yamazaki happened to walk by, "Danna, I can't find the vice comm----" his eyes widened in shock, frozen, as he quickly robot-danced himself behind the slide doors.  
_Asdfasdfasdanna!! Asdfasdfasdhijikatasan!! Asdsgfashomosfgkkkkis_----  
**Oh my god!**  
He was almost more shock than when his hair was shaved into an ugly mohawk. _Masakaaaa!! These two admirable men!!?! I must be imagining thing!! That was probably Paako-chan!...Wait, they're the same person. NOOOOOOoo!!! _Somehow the image of Hijikata taking it up from [_censored_] popped into his mind._ KUUUUUAAIIIEEEEee!!! _He threw up in the mouth a bit, on his knees, tears streaming down emotionally._ Suma na, danna, but you're more fittable to be on the bottom, les uke--CHOOOOTTTOOO!!! NAAANNII?!?!! JUST STOP THINKING YAMAZAKIIIiiii!! _(_It's strange enough he knew what uke is..._)_  
_

Yamazaki raced out so fast that he tripped over oxygen, did a five flips in the air as well as on the ground, hit a badminton player in the face, superman flew into Sougo.  
Accidentally, he mouth-to-mouthed the sadist boy.  
And that very day..was the day of Yamazaki's death.  
Or so he thought, writing down his will.

"Ah~is this how you steal my first kiss?" Sougo blinked playfully.  
As some kind of weird substance overflowed Yamazaki's mouth, turned out to be the takoyaki he devoured for lunch two hours ago. _MY LORD!!!! PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS JUST A DREAM!!!_

And he woke up.  
Sweating like fish dying on the sand, he panted and glanced around as if he was being chased for making a baby gay. _Phew..was only a dream._  
........................There was a deep silence........................

_ASDFASDFAGSASD!!!?!?!! WHY DID I DREAM OF EVERYONE BEING A HOMO??! I CAN'T BE?!!!?_

He freaked out in his bed, kicking around, beating pillows onto other pillows._ U hu hu..at least have me kissed Danna inste--USSSSEEEEII YAMAZAKI!!_ Then rolled off the bed unintentionally. "Itee..." that hurt like a b-word. He sighed.  
_Eh_. Maybe he overreacted a little, Yamazaki got up and decided to brush his teeth before starting his day under the beautifully-glown, cloudless, blue sky; he knew today would be an amazing day. Yamazaki rubbed his teary eyes lightly, spotted Danna riding Hijikata-san, he yawned and coughed and stretched and ran..he ran so far away...he just ran...he ran all night and day, but could not get away; as tears glittered around his eye sockets, tripping over his own feet in slo-mo, accidentally socked Echizen Ryoma in the eye, saut de basque, then gazelle punched his commander.  
Yamazaki felt fear (_and some joy?_) staring at his fist cutting Kondo across the chin with spit flying like germy garden sprinkler.  
And a kiss on the mouth was somehow occured during all chaos.  
On that very day..was the day of Yamazaki's death.  
Or so he thought, secretly crying himself a river. _Mama..why did you raise me to be this way?!_

"Ah~is this how you steal my first kiss?" Kondo blinked playfully, blushed.

........................_Guuweeeehhhhhh_........................a super sonic boom imploded Yamazaki's internal organism system as his gastrin forced out the hormonal acid from the appendix to small intestines to the pancreas, stomach, liver, up through the esophagus, out with the dissolved big mac he had last night (_that explains his homosexual dream_). What a deja vu...

"..I..understand completely...Commander Gorira-san.......it's Seppuku time..."


End file.
